Umm Ayman(ra)

Barakah bint Tha’labah(ra), known as Umm Ayman(ra) was like a mother to the Prophetﷺ and considered to be from his family, of whom the Prophet ﷺ would say; “This is the remainder of my household.” [Hakim] 

When the Prophet’s mother Aminah died, Umm Ayman(ra) her bondsmaid, a simple, kind natured, black woman consoled a little lonely boy and did her best to fill the gap left by his mother. She loved the Prophetﷺ dearly and served him so naturally the Prophetﷺ had a great love and respect for her, doing his utmost to please her even into his adulthood.

The Prophet ﷺ would often visit Umm Ayman and she received him with great pleasure. Anas bin Malik(ra) said one day, she started kneading dough. When asked what she was doing, she replied she was making bread for the Prophetﷺ as was the custom in her country, Ethiopia. Like any doting mother she became upset by his eating habits so when the Prophet ﷺ sometimes didn’t eat (as he was fasting) he ﷺ smiled at her concern for him.

Aisha(ra) narrated, one day when all of them were seated together, the Prophetﷺ drank some water. Umm Ayman(ra) asked the Prophetﷺ to fetch some water for her too.

Aisha(ra) was surprised she should ask the Messenger of Allahﷺ to get her some water.

Umm Ayman(ra) replied “Why not? I have served him often.” Heﷺ fetched the water for her and offered it in a respectful manner. But that’s how he ﷺ was. The best to his family, in the same way he was to his wives too. 

Aisha(ra) was asked what the Prophetﷺ did when he was in the house. She replied:

“He was a man like other men; he would look after his clothes himself, he would milk the goat, he attended to his personal needs himself.”[Tirmidhi]

Allah(swt) defined distinct roles for men and women; to protect rights that each have over the other and to bring harmony. However, the substance of any healthy relationship is also about humanity; having empathy, mutual respect, cooperation, love and kindness, which is why the Prophet ﷺ willingly came forward to help members of his household, without considering such acts as ‘outside of his remit’. This is why the Prophet’s ﷺ life is full of examples where he had a conscious understanding to respect assigned duties and the need for compassion towards others.  

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